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Title Telling Nick
Characters Nick, Stephen
Fandom Primeval
Rating PG
Prompt 11 Together (25 Daily Life)
Summary Stephen has to face up to his mistake and tell Nick about Helen.
Series A (Somewhat) Normal Life
Nick dropped a brochure onto Stephen's desk and grinned at him, looking more relaxed than he had for the last six months, since Helen had vanished.
“What's this?” Stephen asked, moving it off his keyboard and going back to typing without even looking at it.
“Traditionally the way to find that out would be to read it ...” Nick pointed out, looking at Stephen and waiting for him to look up.
“I'm right in the middle of this chapter,” Stephen said tiredly. “Can't you just tell me what it says?”
Sighing Nick picked it up again. “It's the details of the hotel we're going to be staying in this weekend.”
“Hotel?” Stephen saved his file and looked up. “We're going somewhere? Why are we going somewhere? I'm right in the middle of this.”
“Because you're working too hard and you're going to have a nervous breakdown before you're done if you don't take a break,” Nick told him. “And I need to get out of this place. The funeral brought everything back up again, my students all stare at me like I've grown another head and my colleagues can't decide if they're meant to offer condolences or pretend she's just gone on a field trip or something.”
Stephen looked sympathetic. “I'm sorry. So where's this hotel then?” He picked up the booklet and flicked through it casually, pausing when he saw a picture of a beautiful, empty beach.
“I thought that might catch your attention,” Nick said with a small smile. “It's in Cornwall. The beaches are almost empty this time of the year and this particular beach is almost always deserted anyway. I discovered it when I was down there looking for fossils about ten years ago. The water's perfect,” he said, a wheedling tone entering his voice. “Great waves, the wind's perfect for windsurfing and you can bring your board and get some surfing done.” He pointed at Stephen. “I meant it about working too hard. Consider this part of my job as your advisor, making sure you don't overwork yourself.” He looked at Stephen hopefully and the student felt himself melting.
“So just us, some surfing, some windsurfing, and some fresh air? I don't suppose I can take my laptop and work on this in the evenings?” he asked.
Nick shook his head. “Four days, Stephen. You can stop work for that long.”
“Well, I suppose it's not even a week and I might get more done if I clear my head ...” He had to admit the idea of four days alone with Nick, just relaxing on a beach, sounded like something out of one of his fantasies. And it would give him time to talk to him about Helen. But not until the end of their holiday. If this was the last time Nick ever spoke to him, which was a distinct possibility, then he wanted to store up some memories first.
-----
In the end he left it to the very last moment to talk to Nick. He almost let it slide and didn't say anything but he knew if he didn't tell Nick now it would be even harder the next time the opportunity was there and eventually he just wouldn't be able to tell him at all. So after Nick's windsurfer was back at the place he'd rented it from and Stephen's surfboard was tied to the roof of the car, he suggested they took a walk along the beach, to enjoy their last moments of freedom before they went back to work.
“I need to talk to you about something,” Stephen said softly once they were well away from anyone who might interrupt them. “And before I do I need you to know that I feel really bad about this and if there was any way I could go back and change things I would, but I can't, and I'm aware I'm making no sense at all here but you're not going to want to hear the apology or anything else once I'm done so I wanted to get it in first.”
Nick shook his head slightly. “I have no idea what you're talking about but I'm sure it can't be as bad as all that.”
Stephen sighed and looked down, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I wouldn't tell you at all but you said you and Helen fought the morning she vanished and I know you feel bad about it.” He swallowed heavily. “Helen engineered the fight so that you wouldn't go with her.”
Confused, Nick tilted his head as he looked at him. “Why would she do that? If she'd wanted to go alone she could have just said so. I wouldn't have minded.”
“She didn't want to go alone, Nick,” Stephen told him. “She just didn't want you going with her.”
“I don't understand,” Nick said in a quiet voice, the pain blossoming in his eyes betraying fact that he did understand, he just didn't want to. He wanted to be wrong more than he'd wanted to be wrong about anything in his life.
“I think she thought if you were mad at her you wouldn't worry too much if she stayed out all night,” Stephen continued, still looking down at the sand under his feet. “She was always worried you might plan a surprise visit when she was away somewhere or come and surprise her when she was down in the Forest. I never understood that,” he added, almost to himself. “She'd told me so many times that you were caught up in your work, didn't pay her any attention any more, but then she used to come up with elaborate schemes to make sure you didn't drop everything and come and see her when she was away. I didn't realise until after she'd gone quite how much she was playing me...”
“You bastard,” Nick growled. He punched Stephen, sending him staggering back until he hit the cliff, using it to steady himself. Stephen didn't try and defend himself. He couldn't even bring himself to look Nick in the eye, he just kept staring down at the sand, half expecting Nick to follow the punch up with more blows.
“How long?” Nick demanded. “How long had you been sleeping with my wife?”
“Six months,” Stephen almost whispered, his lip already swelling from the punch. “You were away at a conference in London. She told me she was lonely, that you didn't care about her any more. She was just overwhelming and I was flattered.” He looked up, seeing the pain in Nick's face and swallowed hard, feeling worse than he had the day he realised something had happened to Helen. “It wasn't until you took over as my supervisor that I realised you weren't like she'd said at all, that she'd been lying to me... Not that it matters. I knew she was married but I thought she was unhappy. I wanted to make her smile.”
Nick glared at him, the memory of that smile flitting through his mind along with the crazy things he'd done on occasion to earn it, but he shook them away. He wasn't sure if he was more hurt that Helen had been cheating on him or that the student he'd thought was becoming a friend had been the one she'd been with. He felt betrayed, by both of them and he wanted to lash out. Helen wasn't here though so he couldn't hurt her the way she'd hurt him. Stephen was.
He reached out and grabbed him by his shirt, pulling him away from the cliff, feeling almost like a bully when Stephen let him and didn't try to get away. That made him even more angry. He was the innocent party here, how dare Stephen try and make him feel bad?
“Get the hell out of my sight, Hart,” he snarled. “Before I do something I'll regret in the morning. You're a liar and a cheat and quite frankly the sight of you makes me sick.” He pushed him away again and turned his back on him, stalking off down the beach, desperately trying to get himself under control.
Stephen watched sadly as he left, knowing he'd deserved everything Nick had thrown at him and more. He sighed and turned to head back to the hotel. His presence was hurting Nick, so he'd go. He'd have to leave the board where it was and hope Nick chose to bring it back, if he didn't… well it was replaceable.
He hurriedly packed his things in the backpack he'd brought for the weekend and grabbed his wallet and keys. He practically maxed his credit card out paying for his room when he checked out and he knew he was going to be eating pot noodle for the rest of the month, but he couldn't let Nick pay for the rooms like he'd said he would, not when he felt about Stephen the way he now did.
He didn't dare waste money on a taxi, if he did he might not be able to afford the train home. So he shrugged his arms into the straps of his backpack and started walking. There wasn't a mainline station in this small town and the trains from here would have stopped by this time of night anyway, so he'd have to walk to the nearest town and catch a train from there. He glanced at his watch. He probably wouldn't make the last train now but he knew there was a waiting room and hopefully he'd be able to catch some sleep in there and take the first train home in the morning. It wasn't perfect but he'd slept in worse places and at least this way he wouldn't run into Nick over breakfast.
It was late when Nick finally made it back to the hotel, collapsing into bed and falling into an exhausted sleep, so he didn't realise Stephen was gone until the next day. He swore and then apologised to the receptionist, smiling sweetly at her and making her blush. He wasn't really aware he was doing it, most of his mind was on other things. He paid for his room, muttering about stubborn idiots when he realised Stephen had paid for his own, and hurriedly packed his things into the car.
He didn't want to leave it until they got home and he tracked Stephen down to talk to him. He was still mad as hell that he'd slept with Helen but from what he'd said and more importantly from the things he hadn't said but that Nick had been able to fill in for himself, she'd pursued him. She'd fed him a pack of lies, flattered his ego, and seduced him into bed and hell the kid was still young. Still the right side of twenty-five. He wasn't smart enough to realise he was being played, Nick had still been letting Helen play him right up to the day she vanished and he was ten years older than Stephen.
So yeah, he was still mad as hell, but he didn't want it to be the end of the friendship they'd been building and he had to give Stephen points for honesty, and sheer balls for that matter. He could have kept it to himself, never said a word to anyone. Helen was gone, Nick would never have known he was being lied to. But he hadn't, he'd come clean, mainly to try and make Nick feel better, even knowing Nick would probably do exactly what he'd done and punch him. He didn't feel bad about that. Stephen had deserved it and it had made him feel a hell of a lot better. He did regret some of the things he'd said and unless he wanted this to be something they never got past he couldn't let things fester until they got home. He needed to find Stephen.
He headed towards the nearest town, knowing Stephen would have had to go there to catch the train. With any luck he hadn't managed to leave yet. It was still very early, not even fully light yet, and the trains might not be running this early.
He kept a look out along the way for any sign of Stephen, not really expecting to see any and he didn't. But as he pulled in outside of the station he saw a familiar jacket and couldn't help a small smile. The station had obviously been locked tight when Stephen got there and he'd had to sleep on a bench outside. And he was still there. His head was pillowed on his rucksack and his arms were wrapped tightly around himself, no doubt because it had been too cold to sleep outside last night.
He pulled the car into the curb, as close to Stephen as he could manage, the sound of the engine making him stir and look around sleepily. Nick knew the moment he'd seen the car because he froze and his face lost all its colour. Leaning over Nick opened the passenger door.
“Come on,” he called. “Drop your bag in the boot and get in, it's too damn cold to be sleeping on a bench.”
Stephen got up slowly, half-convinced this was some kind of trick and Nick would drive off again, even though he knew that kind of thing wasn't the other man's style. He gestured at the station. “I was going to ...” His voice tailed off. Nick obviously knew he was going to catch a train, why else would he be sleeping outside the station?
“Get in,” Nick said again. “No point paying for a ticket when we can drive back together. We'll stop and get coffee once we're out of town and on the motorway, you look like you could do with one.”
Stephen ducked his head, embarrassed by the way Nick was acting after what he'd done to him. He opened the boot and put his bag in next to the one already there and walked back to the open door, sliding into the car and trying to keep as much distance between them as he could. “Thanks,” he said softly. “You don't have to. I can look after myself.”
Nick snorted. “You slept on a bench and I doubt you have enough money left on your card to feed yourself for the rest of the month,” he said dryly. “You need a keeper Stephen Hart and right now it looks like I'm the one stuck with the job.” He paused. “Don't make the mistake of thinking I've forgiven you yet, Stephen. I haven't, but I've no interest in watching you freeze or starve yourself either. I eat in my office most nights. I expect to see you at least twice a week so I can review your research and make sure you actually eat something. Don't make me come looking for you again.”
Stephen ducked his head and had to clear his throat before he could speak. “Thank you, for everything.”
Nick shrugged. “I owe you for dragging me back into the real world after Helen disappeared. I think you're a damn fool for sleeping with her, but your heart is, mostly, in the right place, it's your brain I'm not so sure about right now. Now put the radio on and try and get some more sleep, you look like hell. I'll wake you up when I find a service station I can stand to eat at.”
Stephen nodded and reached out, tuning the station to the one Nick had listened to on the drive down, before leaning back and closing his eyes, letting the music wash over him as he tried to figure out how he'd ended up here even after everything that had happened. Eventually, he had to give up and just decide that it didn't matter how they got here, the important thing was that they had and it looked like they were going to make this work out for the best. Nick was wrong about one thing though – Stephen was the one who owed him and he'd make sure he found a way to pay him back somehow.
Next
Characters Nick, Stephen
Fandom Primeval
Rating PG
Prompt 11 Together (25 Daily Life)
Summary Stephen has to face up to his mistake and tell Nick about Helen.
Series A (Somewhat) Normal Life
Nick dropped a brochure onto Stephen's desk and grinned at him, looking more relaxed than he had for the last six months, since Helen had vanished.
“What's this?” Stephen asked, moving it off his keyboard and going back to typing without even looking at it.
“Traditionally the way to find that out would be to read it ...” Nick pointed out, looking at Stephen and waiting for him to look up.
“I'm right in the middle of this chapter,” Stephen said tiredly. “Can't you just tell me what it says?”
Sighing Nick picked it up again. “It's the details of the hotel we're going to be staying in this weekend.”
“Hotel?” Stephen saved his file and looked up. “We're going somewhere? Why are we going somewhere? I'm right in the middle of this.”
“Because you're working too hard and you're going to have a nervous breakdown before you're done if you don't take a break,” Nick told him. “And I need to get out of this place. The funeral brought everything back up again, my students all stare at me like I've grown another head and my colleagues can't decide if they're meant to offer condolences or pretend she's just gone on a field trip or something.”
Stephen looked sympathetic. “I'm sorry. So where's this hotel then?” He picked up the booklet and flicked through it casually, pausing when he saw a picture of a beautiful, empty beach.
“I thought that might catch your attention,” Nick said with a small smile. “It's in Cornwall. The beaches are almost empty this time of the year and this particular beach is almost always deserted anyway. I discovered it when I was down there looking for fossils about ten years ago. The water's perfect,” he said, a wheedling tone entering his voice. “Great waves, the wind's perfect for windsurfing and you can bring your board and get some surfing done.” He pointed at Stephen. “I meant it about working too hard. Consider this part of my job as your advisor, making sure you don't overwork yourself.” He looked at Stephen hopefully and the student felt himself melting.
“So just us, some surfing, some windsurfing, and some fresh air? I don't suppose I can take my laptop and work on this in the evenings?” he asked.
Nick shook his head. “Four days, Stephen. You can stop work for that long.”
“Well, I suppose it's not even a week and I might get more done if I clear my head ...” He had to admit the idea of four days alone with Nick, just relaxing on a beach, sounded like something out of one of his fantasies. And it would give him time to talk to him about Helen. But not until the end of their holiday. If this was the last time Nick ever spoke to him, which was a distinct possibility, then he wanted to store up some memories first.
-----
In the end he left it to the very last moment to talk to Nick. He almost let it slide and didn't say anything but he knew if he didn't tell Nick now it would be even harder the next time the opportunity was there and eventually he just wouldn't be able to tell him at all. So after Nick's windsurfer was back at the place he'd rented it from and Stephen's surfboard was tied to the roof of the car, he suggested they took a walk along the beach, to enjoy their last moments of freedom before they went back to work.
“I need to talk to you about something,” Stephen said softly once they were well away from anyone who might interrupt them. “And before I do I need you to know that I feel really bad about this and if there was any way I could go back and change things I would, but I can't, and I'm aware I'm making no sense at all here but you're not going to want to hear the apology or anything else once I'm done so I wanted to get it in first.”
Nick shook his head slightly. “I have no idea what you're talking about but I'm sure it can't be as bad as all that.”
Stephen sighed and looked down, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I wouldn't tell you at all but you said you and Helen fought the morning she vanished and I know you feel bad about it.” He swallowed heavily. “Helen engineered the fight so that you wouldn't go with her.”
Confused, Nick tilted his head as he looked at him. “Why would she do that? If she'd wanted to go alone she could have just said so. I wouldn't have minded.”
“She didn't want to go alone, Nick,” Stephen told him. “She just didn't want you going with her.”
“I don't understand,” Nick said in a quiet voice, the pain blossoming in his eyes betraying fact that he did understand, he just didn't want to. He wanted to be wrong more than he'd wanted to be wrong about anything in his life.
“I think she thought if you were mad at her you wouldn't worry too much if she stayed out all night,” Stephen continued, still looking down at the sand under his feet. “She was always worried you might plan a surprise visit when she was away somewhere or come and surprise her when she was down in the Forest. I never understood that,” he added, almost to himself. “She'd told me so many times that you were caught up in your work, didn't pay her any attention any more, but then she used to come up with elaborate schemes to make sure you didn't drop everything and come and see her when she was away. I didn't realise until after she'd gone quite how much she was playing me...”
“You bastard,” Nick growled. He punched Stephen, sending him staggering back until he hit the cliff, using it to steady himself. Stephen didn't try and defend himself. He couldn't even bring himself to look Nick in the eye, he just kept staring down at the sand, half expecting Nick to follow the punch up with more blows.
“How long?” Nick demanded. “How long had you been sleeping with my wife?”
“Six months,” Stephen almost whispered, his lip already swelling from the punch. “You were away at a conference in London. She told me she was lonely, that you didn't care about her any more. She was just overwhelming and I was flattered.” He looked up, seeing the pain in Nick's face and swallowed hard, feeling worse than he had the day he realised something had happened to Helen. “It wasn't until you took over as my supervisor that I realised you weren't like she'd said at all, that she'd been lying to me... Not that it matters. I knew she was married but I thought she was unhappy. I wanted to make her smile.”
Nick glared at him, the memory of that smile flitting through his mind along with the crazy things he'd done on occasion to earn it, but he shook them away. He wasn't sure if he was more hurt that Helen had been cheating on him or that the student he'd thought was becoming a friend had been the one she'd been with. He felt betrayed, by both of them and he wanted to lash out. Helen wasn't here though so he couldn't hurt her the way she'd hurt him. Stephen was.
He reached out and grabbed him by his shirt, pulling him away from the cliff, feeling almost like a bully when Stephen let him and didn't try to get away. That made him even more angry. He was the innocent party here, how dare Stephen try and make him feel bad?
“Get the hell out of my sight, Hart,” he snarled. “Before I do something I'll regret in the morning. You're a liar and a cheat and quite frankly the sight of you makes me sick.” He pushed him away again and turned his back on him, stalking off down the beach, desperately trying to get himself under control.
Stephen watched sadly as he left, knowing he'd deserved everything Nick had thrown at him and more. He sighed and turned to head back to the hotel. His presence was hurting Nick, so he'd go. He'd have to leave the board where it was and hope Nick chose to bring it back, if he didn't… well it was replaceable.
He hurriedly packed his things in the backpack he'd brought for the weekend and grabbed his wallet and keys. He practically maxed his credit card out paying for his room when he checked out and he knew he was going to be eating pot noodle for the rest of the month, but he couldn't let Nick pay for the rooms like he'd said he would, not when he felt about Stephen the way he now did.
He didn't dare waste money on a taxi, if he did he might not be able to afford the train home. So he shrugged his arms into the straps of his backpack and started walking. There wasn't a mainline station in this small town and the trains from here would have stopped by this time of night anyway, so he'd have to walk to the nearest town and catch a train from there. He glanced at his watch. He probably wouldn't make the last train now but he knew there was a waiting room and hopefully he'd be able to catch some sleep in there and take the first train home in the morning. It wasn't perfect but he'd slept in worse places and at least this way he wouldn't run into Nick over breakfast.
It was late when Nick finally made it back to the hotel, collapsing into bed and falling into an exhausted sleep, so he didn't realise Stephen was gone until the next day. He swore and then apologised to the receptionist, smiling sweetly at her and making her blush. He wasn't really aware he was doing it, most of his mind was on other things. He paid for his room, muttering about stubborn idiots when he realised Stephen had paid for his own, and hurriedly packed his things into the car.
He didn't want to leave it until they got home and he tracked Stephen down to talk to him. He was still mad as hell that he'd slept with Helen but from what he'd said and more importantly from the things he hadn't said but that Nick had been able to fill in for himself, she'd pursued him. She'd fed him a pack of lies, flattered his ego, and seduced him into bed and hell the kid was still young. Still the right side of twenty-five. He wasn't smart enough to realise he was being played, Nick had still been letting Helen play him right up to the day she vanished and he was ten years older than Stephen.
So yeah, he was still mad as hell, but he didn't want it to be the end of the friendship they'd been building and he had to give Stephen points for honesty, and sheer balls for that matter. He could have kept it to himself, never said a word to anyone. Helen was gone, Nick would never have known he was being lied to. But he hadn't, he'd come clean, mainly to try and make Nick feel better, even knowing Nick would probably do exactly what he'd done and punch him. He didn't feel bad about that. Stephen had deserved it and it had made him feel a hell of a lot better. He did regret some of the things he'd said and unless he wanted this to be something they never got past he couldn't let things fester until they got home. He needed to find Stephen.
He headed towards the nearest town, knowing Stephen would have had to go there to catch the train. With any luck he hadn't managed to leave yet. It was still very early, not even fully light yet, and the trains might not be running this early.
He kept a look out along the way for any sign of Stephen, not really expecting to see any and he didn't. But as he pulled in outside of the station he saw a familiar jacket and couldn't help a small smile. The station had obviously been locked tight when Stephen got there and he'd had to sleep on a bench outside. And he was still there. His head was pillowed on his rucksack and his arms were wrapped tightly around himself, no doubt because it had been too cold to sleep outside last night.
He pulled the car into the curb, as close to Stephen as he could manage, the sound of the engine making him stir and look around sleepily. Nick knew the moment he'd seen the car because he froze and his face lost all its colour. Leaning over Nick opened the passenger door.
“Come on,” he called. “Drop your bag in the boot and get in, it's too damn cold to be sleeping on a bench.”
Stephen got up slowly, half-convinced this was some kind of trick and Nick would drive off again, even though he knew that kind of thing wasn't the other man's style. He gestured at the station. “I was going to ...” His voice tailed off. Nick obviously knew he was going to catch a train, why else would he be sleeping outside the station?
“Get in,” Nick said again. “No point paying for a ticket when we can drive back together. We'll stop and get coffee once we're out of town and on the motorway, you look like you could do with one.”
Stephen ducked his head, embarrassed by the way Nick was acting after what he'd done to him. He opened the boot and put his bag in next to the one already there and walked back to the open door, sliding into the car and trying to keep as much distance between them as he could. “Thanks,” he said softly. “You don't have to. I can look after myself.”
Nick snorted. “You slept on a bench and I doubt you have enough money left on your card to feed yourself for the rest of the month,” he said dryly. “You need a keeper Stephen Hart and right now it looks like I'm the one stuck with the job.” He paused. “Don't make the mistake of thinking I've forgiven you yet, Stephen. I haven't, but I've no interest in watching you freeze or starve yourself either. I eat in my office most nights. I expect to see you at least twice a week so I can review your research and make sure you actually eat something. Don't make me come looking for you again.”
Stephen ducked his head and had to clear his throat before he could speak. “Thank you, for everything.”
Nick shrugged. “I owe you for dragging me back into the real world after Helen disappeared. I think you're a damn fool for sleeping with her, but your heart is, mostly, in the right place, it's your brain I'm not so sure about right now. Now put the radio on and try and get some more sleep, you look like hell. I'll wake you up when I find a service station I can stand to eat at.”
Stephen nodded and reached out, tuning the station to the one Nick had listened to on the drive down, before leaning back and closing his eyes, letting the music wash over him as he tried to figure out how he'd ended up here even after everything that had happened. Eventually, he had to give up and just decide that it didn't matter how they got here, the important thing was that they had and it looked like they were going to make this work out for the best. Nick was wrong about one thing though – Stephen was the one who owed him and he'd make sure he found a way to pay him back somehow.
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